[personal] a week in the life of...

This blog has been live for a little over a year and a half. And lately, my vivacity for writing, for my blog has felt forced. I assume you've heard the analogy of how if you squeeze sand too tightly, it falls through the cracks of your fingers, but if you cradle the sand, you can hold it~ safely, without fear of losing it. I'm sand. Falling fast through the cracks of my own fingers: by my own pressures and presuppositions.

Last summer, I wrapped up 4 weddings and announced I was officially a photographer. And by that new standard of "photographer," I had rules to live by; an invisible law to follow in the photography blogging world. Don't write too personally. Don't write a blog without a picture. You must post a session each week. If you don't have a session, don't write anything at all. You're a PHOTOGRAPHER now, Brennigan, people EXPECT this from you. They expect professionalism, lots of fabulous -never-before-seen- pictures, and you living up to and blowing your competition out of the water.

And for months, I have tried to live up to these expectations that left me wordless at a keyboard that previously was my soul-mate. I've always blogged. I've always spoken my heart, my mind. I can't help it. And sometimes its good to spill your guts, and sometimes its scary for others to hear, but it's me. I muted myself for the sake of photographer laws & rules that don't even exist.

I was reading Jasmine Star's magazine last night again for some business insight, and there in direct block quoting, she spoke the words I needed to hear: I've come to believe beyond all doubt that brides are choosing photographers, not photographs, so stop focusing on the very thing that makes you the same.

I knew -instantaneously- that that was what I had been doing. I had created a rule-book to make my blog, my business look like everyone else's. I let the pressures of Facebook pages bring me to tears ("I lost a follower! I'm a failure!"). When only 7 months ago, I was a bride myself picking out my wedding photographer~ not because of her pictures (which are beautiful, by the way), but because when I first started reading her blog, I knew we would click. When I met with other photographers, I never felt that connection that I did with her. Many photographers in our area take astounding pictures. But ultimately, my choice to choose her as our wedding photographer was because I connected more with her (her words, her blog, her personality) emotionally than I did with her portfolio.

And as I searched through my blog to the first post on August 29, 2010, I can see how much I've improved technically. I'm proud of that. And I believe its okay to be proud of that. But, I also see my decline in letting my readers into my everyday life. I limited myself for the sake of pressures and made-up photography laws and eventually choked my ability to express myself.

So, today, I'm throwing out this made-up rulebook (it's thick too, mind you). This is my second summer of weddings, and I'm so grateful to the brides that have chosen me to document their special day. And I feel it: the excitement I first felt when I realized this is what I want to do, the fear of rejection, the joy of losing one's self in art, in life, and the calm of knowing that I am able to blend the two resulting in a beautiful story.

*(Instagram is a free app for iPhones that features various filters that are easy-to-use and make posting to Twitter, Facebook, and ha, my blog, easy-peasy! You can follow me @ bgilsonburnett or on Twitter @brennigan)


It's been a week of reflection, and I'll let my photos show where my heart has been. I have a lot planned for this week. Re-inventing my business, reclaiming what I laid aside for the sake of blending in, and forcing myself to step out from my safe shell I've found and proudly stake what I've created.

Hoping you'll be blessed in finding your true self this week: through nature, words, music, specific actions, or people. Whatever it may be! Happy weekend, readers!

[personal] a week in the life of...

Flower bulbs have been planted. Flip-flops have been dug out of storage. The grill has been filled with charcoal. Bubble wands have been flying through the air. The two of us have been taking walks almost every night, and the kitties love the breezes that drift through open doors & windows. Our unseasonably warm Spring has left the Burnett household wholly satisfied. We spent our Fall and Winter (first as husband and wife, no less!) dealing with car accidents, hospital bills, job searches, sickness, and lots of reality. We needed this. Together, we needed this Spring.

stars of the show:

little next-door neighbor girls. particular, evie. i watch my nephews every tuesday and this week, evie & little charlie spent the morning with us. once her big brother aiden comes home, all the kiddies and i decide we need bubbles. because bubbles cause faces like that (first picture, first row).

phara was our first rescue kitty. and i am absolutely smitten by her ability to act royal. not like i spend hours in front of her waiting for the opportune moment, but i totally caught her mid-yawn and she looks like a lion. or more-so, looks like she's trying to be a lion. and hey~ in this household, we dream big.

cameron & katelyn: my sweet, sweet nieces (second row, third picture). they live in florida, but thank you steve jobs for inventing ipads with facetime.

ella celebrated her first birthday today, and let me tell you~ kids love adam. babies love adam. i love adam. and this little cutie (last row, first picture) was being a sweet flirt with my hubby today. and it was her birthday~ she makes the rules. :)

points of interest:

there's more to our week besides my new sparkle shoes, my orchid blooming & the tulips poking through downtown holland, and discovering hearts inside twistie-ties. noticeably, the results of listening to grandma.

i wanted to go home today after the birthday party. i was tired. i wanted to save money and grab something from home before settling down for the evening. as i was voicing this to adam in the kitchen, grandma demanded spontaneity. "that's how you make the memories," she insisted. multiple times. SOOO, we stopped at one of our local beach towns and took our dinner to go. we sat in the sand and dreamed together of our future. dreamed big. talked like best friends & lovers do. we held hands. and we watched our first sunset of the season on my homemade quilt. what an evening it was. listen to your elders, they say. well, they -whoever "they" may be- are right.



*(Instagram is a free app for iPhones that features various filters that are easy-to-use and make posting to Twitter, Facebook, and ha, my blog, easy-peasy! You can follow me @ bgilsonburnett or on Twitter @brennigan)


Adam & I have spent hours and hours outside today, and my body is ready to collapse into warm knit blankets. I'm ready to sip my night-time tea and turn the house down for a quiet night.

I hope your weekend did not disappoint. Goodnight!

New Growth

I've declared it. From the mountain-tops this time. Spring is here! And my orchid has gone through dormancy and come out the the other side ready to open its petals and drink in this beautiful sunny warmth.

Weeds? My nephews and I call them FLOWERS.

Even the tiniest growth (which I discovered this morning) brings a smile to my face.

Not to mention the kitties sure do love the doors open all the time. :)

Enjoy this unseasonably warm weather this weekend, Michiganders!

Happy Friday!

[personal] a week in the life of...

Gunfire is going off like mad~ grenades exploding, but I'm yawning uncontrollably. Normally, I'd play Call of Duty with Adam, but we spent the afternoon outside~ 60 degree weather in March...in Michigan? Calls for lunch at the play-park with family, visiting a butterfly exhibit, walking among sculpture grounds, and being silly & giddy that spring is here. And let me tell you: I am exhausted (in that that-was-such-a-great-day way). So, yes, yawning. Even typing the word brings on another one (didn't Mythbusters do an episode about that?). But there was fresh, spring air. And I couldn't be happier.

But it didn't start like that. The hills were not alive with the sound of music when we first arrived at the park. I looove to sleep, and this time-change never serves me well the first few days. The day was sunny, but I still had jackets piled on and the wind made my eyes water. My dad likened me to that of a vampire when he first saw me. And not the sparkly, sexy kind either.

But then it happened. It being exactly what I wanted from last week. Spring came and touched my soul. Melted away any remaining snow, and the gladness came. The air was clean. The sun, bright. And our bodies, rejuvenated.

stars of the show:

family. our family. adam and i are our own family, and this week rotated on this axel (albeit, squeaky at times *cue friday night argument): we defined our own marriage rules, sought out how to love each other fully, and truly focused on what will bring us together as a better husband and wife. our babies are features in here too: princess phara (green eyes like her mama) and toad being a gentleman with his paws crossed all cute & such.

points of interest:

saturdays are kind of our thing now. in my last personal post, i mentioned how we've come to treasure our rare time together (especially sleeping in together), and this saturday was no different. sleeping in. making an exceptional breakfast. and spending the afternoon scoping out antiques.

those pizza bites in the third row feature an amaaaazing sprinkle pizazz on top that is almost an exact replica of what pizza hut features on their regular breadsticks. yummy supper that is completely customizable and cheaper than ordering out.

i finished The Lucky One. had a panic attack on the last chapter; didn't know whether to keep reading or not. i really, really hope the movie lives up to my high expectations. especially since they left so much out in The Last Song.

when i entered college freshman year, i purchased (okaaay, my parents did) a hot pink Pixar-style lamp. it graced my bedroom for 6 years, and it was time for a lamp that suited the room of a married woman (hot-pink may be flirty, but goodness sakes, pixar lamps do not set the mood!). TA-DA! fourth row, last picture. new lamp. :) (and i didn't even buy this one either. thanks, hubby. :) )


*(Instagram is a free app for iPhones that features various filters that are easy-to-use and make posting to Twitter, Facebook, and ha, my blog, easy-peasy! You can follow me @ bgilsonburnett or on Twitter @brennigan)


I'm not sure what will make a debut on the blog this week to be completely honest. Boudoir sessions are scheduled, but I know the blog just can't handle all the sexiness that I have to deal with with these gorgeous brides-to-be.

Spring has arrived (to stay~ fingers crossed!) in Holland and the weather beckons us all out and about; I'd just like to be there with you taking pictures. :) I have a few weeks open before wedding season begins and summer starts full swing...I'd be more than happy to squeeze you in. And don't forget about mini-sessions~ honored through April! :)

Stay tuned, my friends!

P.S. And yes, the first picture is the bubble bath I mentioned I was off too last Sunday. See? I do stick to my word! ;P

Charlie :: Holland Newborn Photographer

I've found my niche in photographing senior girls and couples. I rarely find newborn session requests in my inbox. So, like with many things in life, I had to make the opportunity for myself. Open the door, window, whatever. I'm not an extrovert, nor am I completely confident with my camera and babies (baby sessions require lots of patience, heat, and a great balancing act). But, I asked (begged) my sister's neighbor to give me an hour with her baby. Sure. No problem. I'm glad I asked. I knew this baby was already extra special. I shouldn't have been surprised that his session would go so well either.

Kaleen & Joel were expecting their third child: a sweet baby boy. Kaleen went to the hospital for pain completely unrelated to her pregnancy (the pain ended up being non-problematic), but right before they sent her home, they had her lie on her back to check the baby's heartbeat. That's when doctors noticed the heart's deceleration. Immediate panic. The doctors knew what they were doing to raise his heartbeat, but nothing was working. It was a chaotic calm. Calm in training perhaps for doctors, but for this Mama and Daddy who were four weeks away from an expected due date: chaos. Kaleen was rushed in for an emercency cesarean section and the doctors found the cord wound tightly around Charlie's neck. 7 minutes from start to finish.

Charlie came into the world weighing 5 pounds, 15 ounces, and has shown a true fighter spirit and been growing remarkably well in the three months of his new life.

Miracles happen. Ask Kaleen and Joel who went to the doctor and just happened to find Charlie's heartbeat decelerated. Accidents don't just happen. But, miracles? Miracles do.

~

We started our session all cuddly and warm in his beautiful white & blue knit blanket.

Sweet baby noses and lips.

I love this photo~ he is such a sweetheart.

Babies + homemade patchwork quilts? Love.

"I'm waking up..."

"I'm awake, poopy, and hungry. Where's Mom?"

[personal] a week in the life of...

We are learning a new rhythm of life, Adam and I. He accepted a job almost a month ago and has been on a consistent work schedule for three weeks now. And I like routine. I like knowing when I can make plans and I really don't mind packing him lunches (and including cute notes like my Mama always did when I was in school). And I really like making my body into a huge "x" that takes up the entire bed after he leaves (I love you, hunny!). But this transition still has us tired, and we've spent most of the past weeknights counting down the hours until bedtime.

And I've grown tired of the snow (and the slide-outs: eeks!). I am ready for warmth. For regeneration. For growth. My orchid is perched on the window-seat by my computer, and I can't help but imagine its blooms too are waiting for spring before coming out of its cozy shell. Even more, I am ready for my soul to feel spring. To be clean and bright and new. To flourish in the growth experienced during dormancy.

Call me old fashioned, but I'm calling on John Newton (yes, the hymnist from the 1700s) to wrap this up (we're kind of friends~ with my love for anything written and English and all...).

Winter and spring have each their use,
And each, in turn, his people know;
One kills the weeds their hearts produce,
The other makes their graces grow.

Though like dead trees awhile they seem,
Yet having life within their root,
The welcome spring's reviving beam
Draws forth their blossoms, leaves, and fruit.

But if the tree indeed be dead,
It feels no change, though spring return,
Its leafless naked, barren head,
Proclaims it only fit to burn.

Dear Lord, afford our souls a spring,
Thou know'st our winter has been long;
Shine forth, and warm our hearts to sing,
And thy rich grace shall be our song.

stars of the show:

princess phara is definitely more of adam's kitty than mine. but i guess that week of him away, must've meant bonding time for her and me~ because she was allll over instagram this week.

baby everett. i wonder when i'll have to stop calling him that. any niece or nephew (son or daughter) can always be babies when there's a 22 year age gap, right?

my eldest nephew on a special night with us. when i watch the boys on tuesday, we only get to spend one hour together, so it was a special treat to have him for dinner, video games, and DQ. i think adam liked it to because, "oh my gosh, soft shells are your favorite too!" "m&ms blizzards are the best. yeah, i agree." "adam, will you beat this part? you're so good at it!" "me and uncle adam are like, the same."

points of interest:

after my boudoir shoot on tuesday, i stopped into subway (i've gone almost a year without ordering fast food [mcdonalds, wendy's, burger king]), and HOLLA~ sub of the day was my favorite. free cookie? yes, please.

one of my personal highlights of the week was an evening thunderstorm. oh, we've had rain lately, but not thunder. we lit candles. we snuggled. we romanced. the night was beautiful. and then the snow came again the next day. *sigh*

adam and i went to see the woman in black last night for date night. my choice (it was either going to be safe house, big miracle, or the woman in black). i am not a horror fan. or a suspense fan. i'm plain and simple: a harry potter fan and a period-drama fan. those two elements prompted me to choose the woman in black (adam didn't mind; he likes scary movies). i gasped. i screamed. OUT LOUD. and i'm pretty sure i dramatically threw popcorn in the air at one point too.

the picture strip (one of my favorite "oh-my-gosh-adam-we-have-to-do-this!" things) represents our imitation of the woman in black, being scared out of our wits, being sweet, and one of each of our signature "picture" looks.


*(Instagram is a free app for iPhones that features various filters that are easy-to-use and make posting to Twitter, Facebook, and ha, my blog, easy-peasy! You can follow me @ bgilsonburnett)


Sweet baby Charlie will be making his blog debut this week~ and oh.my.land, he is precious. And he has a beautiful, miracle of a birth story.

I'm feeling a bubble bath and The Lucky One (I made had Adam watch the trailer twice tonight in two different versions~ to get us ready for a date night this spring). I wish I were fancy enough to say that I'd cork open some bubbly and eat something delicate like chocolate covered strawberries, but to be honest, Adam and I already devoured half a pan of brownies I made less than 24 hours ago and a glass of ice-cold water is gonna have to suffice. :) Goodnight, all!

Grand Rapids Boudoir :: Sneak Peek

Just a little bit of sexy for the end of the week. The more I've been shooting boudoir and seeing how women react to seeing themselves in the photographs (and the reactions of the receiver), the more I love to do it!

This gorgeous girl did this session as a surprise for her husband (isn't her ring just gorgeous?). His reaction? Absolute love. And believe me, I'm sure that's a compliment that made her happy too. :)

I've been getting lots of boudoir requests from wives and brides-to-be, so if you're interested in details, booking, or a sample gallery, e-mail me through the contact form at my website or e-mail me directly at brennigan@bgphotographystudios.com.

Between boudoir shoots and weddings, the calendar is filling up. ;)

Happy Weekend!